As a professional Home Stager, my job is to help de-clutter spaces and help sellers part with personal things for selling their house. It's rewarding to see houses de-stressed by my plans and efforts and it's easy when it's "someone else's stuff."
But what about my own house? And yours? Could you put your house on the market "as is" or would you have to have a major "come to Jesus" meeting with your spouse or significant other, the kids, and yourself? I would.
I just get so frustrated sometimes - I think "Am I the only person in my household of 6 that puts anything away, or throws anything away?" I find the potato chip bag rolled up with a rubber band - and inside are the crumbs no one wants! Throw it away! Do you really think someone wants chip crumbs? I purge out the refrigerator because no one else does - and I find all sorts of science experiments in the works - leftovers no one ate while I was gone, and expired food. Ick. Throw it away!
I find collections of the oddest things in my kid's rooms - rocks, bottle caps, dirt clods (we have 3 boys and 1 girl). And lately the boys have been venturing to the fields where they are finding shot gun shells and bullet casings. First of all, I don't live in the country so WHY is someone shooting off a shotgun or gun in this field near our house?
They proudly show me their treasures, and all I praise them - but inside am thinking, "Great, more stuff to have to store." I know it's a right of passage for kids - they need their treasures and things. Can I just admit to you here how HARD it is for me to leave their stuff alone? I will "arrange" things better so that they have SOME space on their desk in their room that was put there for them to do homework or draw - but is so laden down with trading cards, rocks, metal things, and who knows what else, that they end up doing homework in the kitchen!
One of my sons is already prepared for Fourth of July (and has been ready since about January) and has rigged up one of his plastic trucks with little firecrackers (from my husband) - and it sits, all taped together waiting for that one special day of the year when blowing things up is OK.
My daughter - she is a little better, but a collector none-the-less. She has at LEAST 45 stuffed animals and dolls lining shelves, cubbies and her bed. Her dolls are carefully put to "bed" with blankets or a piece of her clothing on them (she is almost 14 now) - and yet she loves her things. She has little mementos stored all over her room on the surfaces. At least she makes her bed in the morning. Most days.
The other day, I was actually doing the bed making rounds for the house and found an entire box full of food in her room! It was like she was camping out or ready for a "situation" with all the goodies she had stashed up in her room! When I asked her about it - she said, "Oh yeah! I brought that up when (her friend) came over to spend the night and we were studying. We wanted snack food." OK.
Anyway, I sit in my office and seem to move one pile to another - taking stuff off one surface and putting it on another, figuring out what I can throw away and what still needs my attention. I have "future projects" that I willl get to when I have more time. My office is also our bonus room - with books and videos galore because I gave up my "office" for one of our sons so he could have his own room like the rest of the kids.
Don't even get me started about my husband's "office" out front in our free standing Casita. There is so much paperwork and stuff out there - he now is at the dining room table. He says it's so he can "monitor" the kids while working. Um - the kids are in school all day - nice try. :-) I love him, but he does not know where to begin to clean up his office, and if I do it, I'll kill him before it's done. If I had free reign in the place, fine, but I can't take the reasons WHY he wants to hang on to stuff, and we end up arguing rather than sorting, purging, and organizing.
The other day, he was griping to me about his "lost" drill charger. I said, "The one that is in the garage in your work bench" He said it was not there. After a day of hearing him complain that, "You must have moved it and now it's lost." I got up. I walked to our garage. I opened up the top drawer of his workbench area where his tools are stored - and what do you know! There it was! Amazing! They can't put anything away, and they also can't find anything that is in the logical place!
Outside of the sentimental factor, I have come to the conclusion that some of this "need for stuff" or inability to organize is definitely genetic. And I "blame" my husband! (smile). I am the purger and he is the collector or "don't throw it away yet - I might need it." His Mom is a collector extraodinaire. (Although My Dad could give his Mom a run for her money!) She is the hardest breed of all because the stuff she finds and collects is actually worth something! Antiques, and fabulous semi-precious stones, and cool artifacts, and salvaged architectural pieces from old Chicago houses, etc. She has the other stuff too - a collection of heart shaped rocks - they are pretty neat, but after 50 years of "finding" them you can imagine they are all over the house.
And I am not totally innocent either. I have boxes of my children's school papers. Why am I saving them? I have some of their more significant things from the years in school, but I am thinking that years from now they will have the "best time going through all their old papers!" I want them to see writing samples of what their handwriting was at 7 or 8 years old, and be able to look back on old school projects.
Am I INSANE!? I have 4 children and already have stuffed one large file cabinet of their work, plus 2 bankers boxes in the rafters. At this rate (our kids are 8-13 years old and we have 10 more years of school to go - these memories will crowd us out of the garage! Do I put them in storage or will my kids really care? I don't have anything from my childhood - except a few class photos, some certificates, and awards. All our "treasures" were boxed up and stored in my grandparent's cottage by the ocean - in a shed - that was not airtight. Rain, mold and time ate up whatever was in the boxes.
So I think I have "over-compensation syndrome." I did not have much to look back on (and I am not "scarred" by it - I just think it would have been cool to show our kids some of my work) so I am ensuring my children will - but how much is too much? In addition to their schoolwork - they have scrapbooks from their early years, photo albums and journals I have kept about their lives. Yes, I stopped being as diligent about writing about 2 years ago - but I do hit them once in a while and update who they are and some of their milestone accomplishments. I can see the need to scale back, or this will get out of control.
So - why bother having cupboards and storage areas - when it all ends up out on the floor or on the counters anyway? Why don't we all just live with everything in reach and in view? It is the constant battle between de-stressing our house (and our lives) by putting thing away or getting rid of things, and the "practical" side of life.
I do think organization is a learned skill - so my job is to help teach my kids to organize and purge - within reason because I have Staged enough houses to know that when a space is decluttered, the people living there can feel and sense the difference and are less stressed themselves.
I get stressed out with too much stuff around and see the value in professional organizers because just like it's hard to Stage your own house objectively, getting a 3rd party in to help purge is a great service! I can organize too - but I have to deal with the "I can't believe you threw away my prized hacky-sack" and a husband that goes dumpster diving to see what else I got rid of. Sigh.
I do have a solution for that one - load up your car with the hefty bags of items no longer needed (according to you - the expert :))- and drive to a remote dumpster far, far away! Yes - I HAVE done that. You know what? No one asked where the items were. That is the TRUE test of clutter. If you don't miss it once it's gone - it wasn't needed in the first place!
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